Starting School: Big Changes

End of Summer=Big Decisions

So all summer long, a decision was brewing.  I have loved most of my job for the past 3 years.  I've been teaching "part-time" (you'll understand the quotation marks in a sec) Musical Theater and Vocal Music at a public middle school in Orange County.  A good school in a good district.  I had 35 kids in the audition-based musical theater class (I usually cut around 20 during audition season) and around 120 kids in the choral program.  I was working early in the morning until noon but would, often, return to the school for rehearsals, meetings and concerts/productions, often dragging the girls with me.  There are things I loved about it. The kids, the productions, the lights, putting together the story, watching kids blossom before my very eyes. . . but what I couldn't stand was what happened at home.  How, before every major production or concert or show, I wasn't the only person who was completely stressed out and tired.  While the girls loved the middle school kids and Claire even got her first musical production under her belt with my last Spring show, "Honk!," the everyday and the craziness was just wearing on all of us.  On top of that, we ran into a major issue with babysitting when my mom decided to go back to work, nearly, full time this school year.  After a lot of tears, math and prayer, we agreed to have me take a leave of absence this school year.  

It's taken a lot for me to let go of this program, particularly the musical theater program that I've been building for the past 11 years.  But it was one of those moments where we really realized we had to step out and do something different. The other part of this is that we really have convictions about our kids and their education.  I have been homeschooling Claire for preschool while I've been working but we are really getting closer and closer to the time when the girls (and any other kiddo who becomes a member of our family) education needs to be front and center for me.  So here we go. 

So, for the first time in 12 years, my first day of school looked something like this: 

Sometimes we play outside at the park across the street. . .

and have evening playdates with neighborhood kids. . . 

or take field trips to PetCo to look at the animals.

Sometimes we have cooking lessons before dinnertime. . .

or lounge around in our elephant costume. . .

or complete bookwork in a Cabbage Patch wig.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the kids at my old job, the theater program I built and the notoriety I received.  I loved the satisfaction of watching a group of kids go from barely knowing what they were doing, lacking in confidence to getting up there onstage and completely owning their moment.  I will miss the lights, the costumes, the creativity.  But I'm ready to pour into my family this year.  I'm ready to start new things, educate my girls, learn more about the Classical model of education while tutoring at Veritas one day a week and so excited to share more of God's natural gifts of his earth through doTERRA essential oils and I'm excited to bring a new little one into our home through adoption, whoever he or she may be.  Our family is standing at another watershed. . . so with the uncertainty and excitement of these changes, I'm reminded of this:

Rolling River God 

Little Stones are smooth 

Only once the water passes through 

So I am a stone 

rough and grainy still 

Trying to reconcile this river's chill

But when I close my eyes 

and feel you rushing by 

I know that time brings change 

and change takes time 

And when the sunset comes 

my prayer would be just this one 

that you might pick me up 

and notice that I am 

just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild 

sometimes swollen high 

never have I known this river dry 

The deepest part of you 

is where I want to stay 

and feel the sharpest edges wash away

But when I close my eyes 

and feel you rushing by 

I know that time brings change 

and change takes time 

And when the sunset comes 

my prayer would be just this one 

that you might pick me up 

and notice that I am 

just a little smoother in your hand