Our Trip to Reed AKA #roadtriptobaby3

So for a while, we didn't know, exactly, when little man was scheduled for his arrival.  His birthmom was having a csection, and her doctors in her home state had told her "around March 26th" so we'd been planning for the 26th.  However, because the agency is in Utah, she was going to have the baby in Utah and the doctors there hadn't given her a definite date. So we waited, and assumed the 26th. . .until we got word that it was going to be the 23rd. . . the Tuesday before. So, my weekend plans became the plans for the next couple of days and we were packed and ready to head out to meet our little boy on Saturday, March 21st. 

First stop was a Starbucks for breakfast and coffee. Christian agreed to drive the first leg and I didn't end up driving until we hit St. George.  The drive out was full of uncertainty, excitement, anticipation. . . all of it.  We'd taken this route before, just a few months earlier, not knowing that we'd be making this same trip later to meet our little boy.  During our first trip, there was a lot of fear and concern that the girls would have a hard time with the long drive and that Chino to Salt Lake in one day was entirely too much to take in.  But we were wrong.  We made sure they had something to look forward to, used coloring books, road trip friendly crafts, stories on CD, just about anything.  We did save electronic games for the VERY last leg of our trip when we deemed it an emergency but didn't rely on it.  Love how the girls were able to look out the window, engage with others and fill up pages and pages of paper with their drawings that I will cherish for years.
We made it to Nevada with no major issues,

got to Arizona without a hitch. . .

drove through the Virgin River Gorge (probably my favorite 40 minutes of the trip) . . .

and finally made it to Utah.  I remember crossing the border into Utah thinking, "This is it! We are here! Little man will be born HERE!"

Now, the great thing about when we finally made it to South Jordan, was the place we were able to stay.  A little background, a friend of Christian's at work has several contacts in the Salt Lake area since he attended BYU Idaho and several friends from there or his Ward have friends there.  One afternoon, he asked Christian is we had made arrangements for housing while there. We hadn't due to the fact that K's csection date wasn't set in stone.  So a Facebook post and a lot of God working out details, we had a place to stay, for free, 5 mins from the hospital little man was to be born with a family who, over the course of their own marriage, had adopted 10 children.  We were blown away by their kindness, generosity and care for our family while we were there.  Claire and Ashlyn loved the drawer with all the toys and books and loved playing with Miss Arlene who had also taught preschool for years and was very tolerant and loving toward our loud, rambuntious, bickering (at times) little girls. 

The second day we were there, my dad was able to fly out for the purpose of helping us with the girls as we met with little man's birthmom and hung out at the hospital when he was born.  The girls LOVED having Papa there and we loved the extra hand and having someone there to be with them so we could be free to be with our new little boy.

The day before the csection date, we met K and her friend who drove her out to Utah for dinner.  It confirmed in us the connection we had with her and God's hand in the match, for sure.  

The next morning was an early one.  I knew I needed to get some sleep since we wouldn't be shortly :-)  But it was hard. . . too excited, nervous for K for the whole situation.  Per K's request, we were supposed to be allowed into the nursery as soon as he was brought in.  She was going to sign some paperwork allowing us to see him right away, but since the night staff forgot to give it to her and the morning staff didn't get a chance (her csection was early in the morning), we spent about 15 to 20 min waiting for the social worker to get a signature from K after her surgery. We could hear him crying on the other side of the door to the nursery.  We wanted so bad to be on the other side. . . couldn't believe we were there, hearing him.  

And then we were cleared to go in. . . 

and he was here. . . 

He was perfect, and sweet and . . .here.  I remember being completely awestruck at the whole moment.  The nurses and doctor who came to seen him were commenting on what a pretty baby he was.  There was some concern from a nurse that one of his ears didn't have an opening, but the doctor assured us that it did.
They kept checking his blood sugar.  And we just held him. And rocked him. And fed him. And tried to send word and pictures back to family amid very bad hospital wifi.

After a while, the nurses asked us if we'd like our own room with him. We weren't allowed to have a hospital room but they had a room off to the side of the nursery with rocking chairs and a sink. We spent the afternoon there with him while his birthmom slept off her surgery that morning. And we got to know this new little son.  And were amazed by the whole thing.

We named him Reed (after my grandma's family, who have handed down an amazing faith in Christ, love for music and grace for others) William (after my dad and also a mentor of mine who passed away the same day we matched with his birthmom, a guy who loved learning, travel and people) Caeden (a name K said she'd always liked).  

Our two days in the hospital we spent, mostly with Reed and we'd visit K and her friend who helped drive her to Utah.  We, luckily, got along with both of them and while the situation was a difficult one, it was also so, so good to have a good relationship with her through the difficult.  We had prayed for a situation where we could feel totally comfortable with future contact with the birthmom we'd be matched with and God gave us more than we could have asked for with K.  She came to see Reed in the nursery on Tuesday morning and then again Tuesday afternoon after we'd all been discharged and papers had been signed. We got pictures of her with him and us. It was good and hard and amazing and incredibly humbling.

We packed up to head out, Reed was so small in the carseat, the same carseat I brought his sisters home in and the last baby we will use it for since it will expire in a year or so.

We snapped a picture of Reed with the social worker we had in Utah through Heart and Soul Adoptions.

And suddenly, we were a family of 5.

The next several days were spent waiting out ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) to be cleared in the state of Utah and then in California.  We had no idea how long this would all take.  It could be a week or two depending on how fast everyone got everything done.  We had heard Utah was fast and efficient. California, not so much.  So we really were ready for anything.
But this also gave us some time to breathe and enjoy this new life in our family before hitting the road again.  My dad stayed through Wednesday night so we got to meet Reed first.  Ashlyn, who I was worried would not take to a younger sibling and who I thought might be jealous, fell in love.  I'm predicting they will be best friends.

Claire loved her brother from the start.  She's been helpful, has learned to feed him, fetch diapers for me and likes to kiss and hold him.

Christian is loving having a "little buddy" after all the girls,  

and I can't get over this snuggly, sweet little man.

Two days after he was born, we brought him to a pediatrician in West Jordan for his check up.  We loved the doctor in the hospital and we got to see her in in office a few days later.  Everything checked out great with him!

Another miracle in this whole thing is the speed in which we were able to go to court to see the judge. We decided, per agency recommendation, to finalize in the state of Utah.  We are hoping to be able to have our lawyer and agency represent us on finalization day so we saw the judge while we were there.  Both the court and the lawyer had cancellations enabling us to be able to go to court Thursday afternoon.  The judge was very nice and the clerk gave the girls stuff to write on during the proceedings.  After it was over, the judge said, "I was adopted and had wonderful parents and a great life."  She was so glad to hear our case, as it was the first adoption case for her.  That was amazing.

One Friday, we decided to spend some time at the Loveland Living Planet Aquarium.   It was great for the kids and little man slept most of the time.  He did perk up for the sharks. . . and promptly went back to sleep.  :-)

The penguins were a huge hit.

We also discovered, in the South America exhibit, Ashlyn's hair becomes extremely curly in hot, humid weather.  Who knew?!

We fully expected to be there through the weekend.  But to out amazement, while we were sitting at lunch at the aquarium, we got a phonecall from a social worker in CA at Nightlight Christian Adoptions who we had complete our ICPC in CA.  She asked if we had gotten the call to go home yet. . . we hadn't (and really didn't expect to).  "Well, you should hear soon. Everything is done on our end.  Let me know if I need to make another call."  WHAT?!  Sure enough, a couple hours later, our social worker in Utah sent a text message said we were cleared to travel.  Mind blown. So the next morning, we said goodbye to the amazing couple that allowed us to invade their home during this adoption and who gave us so much encouragement during the whole process.  We were so, so blessed by the Bartlett's and their hospitality.  Thank you seems so inadequate.

Heading home, however, was going to prove to be the most stressful part of the trip.  Leaving the Salt Lake area, the car started making strange scraping noises.  Christian checked it, secured a few things and thought it was fixed due to the fact that the noise all but disappeared.

We continued to St. George where we visited the Dinosaur Discovery Site which was worth about a half hour or so for the girls to stretch their legs and see dinosaur bones.

We stayed at the CasaBlanca Resort and Casino for the night and expected to head home in the morning.

But we wouldn't make it home the next day.  Leaving Las Vegas, the traffic looked like this. . .

it wound up taking us an hour to get from Las Vegas to Primm, Nevada (Stateline).  And remember that scraping sound?  It came back. . . so, so much worse.  We finally made the decision to return to Las Vegas and stay at a Station Casino but when I told a friend who lives in Henderson with her family that we were going to be staying there overnight, she suggested we just come stay with her.  Unexpected but it was GREAT to see her and her family and love, love, love that Danielle is a part of Reed's story :-) 

After Firestone fixed the broken wheel bearing, we were finally able to make it to California,

and welcome this little guy to his new forever home.  

First Phone Call: Our introduction to little man's birthmother

So we had a busy weekend and I really couldn't update but last Thursday evening we had our first chat with little man's birthmom on the phone.  I spent the entire day totally nervous.  I had no idea how it was going to go.  I feel like I am, definitely, "so much cooler online" and probably not as interesting as our profile book. It was a very self-depricating day.  
But you know what? It went GREAT. Like, better than great.  Turns out she grew up in our area and we had a lot of talk about and connect on so that we could talk about the harder stuff.  We've exchanged phone numbers and have texted back and forth a couple times since.   Sometimes, I find myself wanting to text her. When someone buys something sweet for little man or like today when my mother in law took us to get some fabic to make his crib bedding.  I want her to be able to share in it a bit so that she knows he'll be going to a family that will love and cherish him so, so much at the end of next month.  But I'm not sure she'd want that.  In a way, it's like beginning a dating relationship.  Don't want to come on too stong but at the same time, you want the person to know you care, you are very in love with the life that she is carrying and care deeply about her and how she is doing.   So we keep praying we are doing the right thing in terms of relating to her. Because, from what we have surmised from the past couple weeks, she seems to be a pretty amazing person, who loves this little boy very much but knows her limits and when she has met them.  We always want to present her this way to him and hope we can continue to be able to give him access to her, whenever he feels like he needs questions answered about his life.
In the middle of this, we have been applying to grants like CRAZY in order that we might be able to be fully funded by the time little man makes his arrival.  We've been anticipating this for so long, it's crazy that it's finally becoming real.  Claire, at Babies R Us today, kept trying to pick out different things, "for baby brother."  I had to hold her off, today, but will bring her back so that she can pick out something special to give to him.

I know this road is paved with twists and turns, but right now, we are enjoying the smooth highway and loving the connection we've made with little man's first mother.

News: The art of being cautiously excited :-)

So on Sunday, Christian and I were able to speak in church about our heart for adoption and our throught process in all of it and how God's really placed this on our hearts.  We told them we didn't know when it would all go down.  We could match the next day and have to fly somewhere right away OR it could be another several months before we heard anything.  Turns out it was somewhere in between.  Early Wednesday morning we got a call from our fantastic consultant.  My phone has been on the fritz for months and it was downstairs attempting to charge when I got a frantic text message at around 6am.  So an hour later, I call back and she doesn't pick up.  I figure it's another situation, another question or update about a situation we'd presented on.  I start making breakfast.  She calls back. I pick up the phone and she says, "Sooooo you matched!"  Um, WHAT?!  REALLY? Us?!  Since for the last several months the answers were, "nope, no, not you, another family, birthmom isn't placing, no idea what happened with that situation etc."  So, at this point, we are "cautiously excited." We just finished up the paperwork for the placing agency and emailed it in. Not sure what the next step after this.
So here are the details (well, not all of them ;-) )  But it's a little boy and his birthmom is due for a c-section at the end of March.  We'll be driving to Utah to meet him. (At least, driving is the plan for now)  Not sure the timeframe of that.  Not sure what his expectant mom wants for the birth (some want the adoptive parents there, some don't. . . all personal preference) so we may drive up there after he is here or we may plan to be there for his arrival.  Just not sure yet (noticing a theme here?!).  He is African American so we are beginning to brace ourselves for life with a boy, life as an adoptive family, life as a transracial family.  And we are feeling humbled and blessed that this person has picked our family to raise her precious little boy.

So now we ramp up our fundraising and saving efforts.  One of the purposes of us speaking in church last Sunday, besides giving the congregation an update on our process was also to launch our baby bottle fundraiser that we have started.  We call it "Baby Bottle Boomerang."  You fill up the bottle with change and bills and then return the bottle to us (or we'll come get it from you!)  Then, if you want, you can take another one and do it again as many times as you want!  There's no end date on this.  So far, people have been pretty excited about it but we do have several bottles to pass out so let me know ASAP if you'd like one!


Then, a sweet, sweet friend offered to give us a portion of the profits on a Origami Owl party.  I'm excited to host this since I think the pieces are ADORABLE but I also think that it'll be a huuuge hit and a fun event for people.  If you'd like to be included in that, I'll let you know asap as soon as we iron out dates and the details.

THEN, I signed up to distribute Lilla Rose as a side business.  Not only am I in love with these hair clips because they are SO pretty, but I LOVE how they work like nothing else in my stick straight hair.  There are tons of sizes so they work on just about any hair type.  So check out that when it launches, as well!


Later on, we'll annouce an event that we are working on.  Christian and I are both pretty musical and have a few friends and family members who are as well.  If you play, sing, have a band etc. and wouldn't mind donating your time and talent, we are working on a music/coffeehouse night as well!  We are most excited about this and how it will be a fun way to bring friends together and help us bring this little boy home!



Most of all, we need your prayers for this little boy, his birthmom, our family, the girls, travel, funding and all the details that need to be worked out before the end of March.
Already, even in the last couple days when we matched, things have been crazy.  Ashlyn was diagnosed with RSV the night before we got our phone call so Christian filled out the agency paperwork while I took her to the doctor right after we heard.  My brother was in a pretty serious motorcycle accident the weekend before and our minds and hearts have been with him since (he is, thankfully, looking like he is going to recover and we are very blessed that he is still with us).  Since last night, my phone has been unable to hold a charge and is, now, completely dead which has made it difficult to inform family, communicate with our consultant and do things with my business or contact friends and doctors for the girls. Working on getting it fixed but this week, of all weeks, has been rife with issues.
We'll keep you posted on how this journey unfolds.  For now, we are excited about this new family member and focusing on the best way to work on the details to get him home.  Oh, and I am, of course, scouring the internet for acceptable baseball themed crib bedding ;-)

Adoption Update: Presenting, Funding and Riding the Rollercoaster

So it's been a little while since we updated on the adoption so I thought I'd go ahead and post just where we are at in all of this.

We finished up our homestudy in mid-October.  So since that time, we've been "active" with our consultant, Faithful Adoption Consultants.  Immediately, she started sending us "situations" from all over the country.  Some were ones where, if our family is chosen by the birthmom, we'd have to travel immediately. Some were due in the months ahead and we'd have time to get to know the person on the other side of this triad before the birth.  We have no idea when it'll all happen. So we live expecting just about anything.  Once, we were out at a show with some friends and I received a text message saying there were 8 week old twins in AZ we'd have to pick up the next day if chosen. . . yeah. Stuff like that. (That birthmother did not return to the agency, we found out, so we assume she chose not to place).  So it's a pretty crazy rollercoaster, considering that each and every "situation" and birthmom is a different story, a different need and each one is full of heartbreak in one way or another.  You want to get emotionally involved but you don't want to since if we did with each and every one, it would be crazy BUT, like, our consultant said after a situation that seemed like it would be a good match for us didn't pan out, "So hard not to get too excited, but you almost have to put all your heart into it!  This process is so dang hard...but totally worth it :)"  

So that's about all we can give you on that.  We aren't sure where. We aren't sure when.  

We are continuing to do some fundraising.  Lawyers, agencies, travel, homestudies, state fees all add up.  In order to adopt we are saving, working to find ways to make extra money through organizations that help adopting families (if you like coffee, keep reading!) and, recently, we found out we got a matching grant! We are planning on coming up with creative ways to help fund the adoption as this continues as we wait and pray for the newest Herman, his/her first family and their situation and our hearts as we receive him/her into our home.

So if you are interested in helping us out with this, here are something we have going right now.  I will post more events and fundraisers as they come up! But here are the biggest.

Hand in Hand Christian Adoptions, Inc Matching Grant

We were recently awarded a matching funds grant to help with the expenses of our adoption through Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc. a non-profit private operating foundation.  Hand in Hand will match any funds that are donated through our friends and family for the expenses of our adoption.  All funds received through our friends and family will be matched dollar for dollar by Hand in Hand up to our awarded grant amount!   AND all donations are tax-deductible (awesome, right?!).

You can find out more about Hand in Hand through their website at www.handinhandadopt.org.

All donations made payable to “Hand in Hand Christian Adoption” postmarked by January 22nd to: (for tax purposes please include our name on the outside of the envelope only…do not put our name on the check itself):                                                                                                                   

Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.  

Christian and Sarah Herman

18318 Mimosa Court 

Gardner, KS  66030

Just Love Coffee Roasters

Here's an easy one if you are buying coffee for yourself or friends anyway.  Check out our online coffee shop for Organic, Fair Trade Coffee.  From people who have ordered already, it ships fast and REALLY yummy stuff :-)  So, if you want to check it out and get coffee here rather than from Starbucks or the grocery store, that'd be great!  They have hot chocolate, too, for the non-coffee drinkers :-) 

Our link can be found here: https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/hermanadoption/

The fundraising part of this is, certainly, the most awkward part of this for us but, because of the huge costs, we really wouldn't be able to consider it if organizations and supportive people didn't come alongside us and help!  If you cannot give, your prayers are SO, SO valuable to us.  Pray for everyone who will be involved in the process, our whole family, the consultant, the agency, the birthparents, the hospital staff. . . just all of it. I keep thinking about how this is all going to happen.   We will keep you updated as it does!