First Phone Call: Our introduction to little man's birthmother

So we had a busy weekend and I really couldn't update but last Thursday evening we had our first chat with little man's birthmom on the phone.  I spent the entire day totally nervous.  I had no idea how it was going to go.  I feel like I am, definitely, "so much cooler online" and probably not as interesting as our profile book. It was a very self-depricating day.  
But you know what? It went GREAT. Like, better than great.  Turns out she grew up in our area and we had a lot of talk about and connect on so that we could talk about the harder stuff.  We've exchanged phone numbers and have texted back and forth a couple times since.   Sometimes, I find myself wanting to text her. When someone buys something sweet for little man or like today when my mother in law took us to get some fabic to make his crib bedding.  I want her to be able to share in it a bit so that she knows he'll be going to a family that will love and cherish him so, so much at the end of next month.  But I'm not sure she'd want that.  In a way, it's like beginning a dating relationship.  Don't want to come on too stong but at the same time, you want the person to know you care, you are very in love with the life that she is carrying and care deeply about her and how she is doing.   So we keep praying we are doing the right thing in terms of relating to her. Because, from what we have surmised from the past couple weeks, she seems to be a pretty amazing person, who loves this little boy very much but knows her limits and when she has met them.  We always want to present her this way to him and hope we can continue to be able to give him access to her, whenever he feels like he needs questions answered about his life.
In the middle of this, we have been applying to grants like CRAZY in order that we might be able to be fully funded by the time little man makes his arrival.  We've been anticipating this for so long, it's crazy that it's finally becoming real.  Claire, at Babies R Us today, kept trying to pick out different things, "for baby brother."  I had to hold her off, today, but will bring her back so that she can pick out something special to give to him.

I know this road is paved with twists and turns, but right now, we are enjoying the smooth highway and loving the connection we've made with little man's first mother.

News: The art of being cautiously excited :-)

So on Sunday, Christian and I were able to speak in church about our heart for adoption and our throught process in all of it and how God's really placed this on our hearts.  We told them we didn't know when it would all go down.  We could match the next day and have to fly somewhere right away OR it could be another several months before we heard anything.  Turns out it was somewhere in between.  Early Wednesday morning we got a call from our fantastic consultant.  My phone has been on the fritz for months and it was downstairs attempting to charge when I got a frantic text message at around 6am.  So an hour later, I call back and she doesn't pick up.  I figure it's another situation, another question or update about a situation we'd presented on.  I start making breakfast.  She calls back. I pick up the phone and she says, "Sooooo you matched!"  Um, WHAT?!  REALLY? Us?!  Since for the last several months the answers were, "nope, no, not you, another family, birthmom isn't placing, no idea what happened with that situation etc."  So, at this point, we are "cautiously excited." We just finished up the paperwork for the placing agency and emailed it in. Not sure what the next step after this.
So here are the details (well, not all of them ;-) )  But it's a little boy and his birthmom is due for a c-section at the end of March.  We'll be driving to Utah to meet him. (At least, driving is the plan for now)  Not sure the timeframe of that.  Not sure what his expectant mom wants for the birth (some want the adoptive parents there, some don't. . . all personal preference) so we may drive up there after he is here or we may plan to be there for his arrival.  Just not sure yet (noticing a theme here?!).  He is African American so we are beginning to brace ourselves for life with a boy, life as an adoptive family, life as a transracial family.  And we are feeling humbled and blessed that this person has picked our family to raise her precious little boy.

So now we ramp up our fundraising and saving efforts.  One of the purposes of us speaking in church last Sunday, besides giving the congregation an update on our process was also to launch our baby bottle fundraiser that we have started.  We call it "Baby Bottle Boomerang."  You fill up the bottle with change and bills and then return the bottle to us (or we'll come get it from you!)  Then, if you want, you can take another one and do it again as many times as you want!  There's no end date on this.  So far, people have been pretty excited about it but we do have several bottles to pass out so let me know ASAP if you'd like one!


Then, a sweet, sweet friend offered to give us a portion of the profits on a Origami Owl party.  I'm excited to host this since I think the pieces are ADORABLE but I also think that it'll be a huuuge hit and a fun event for people.  If you'd like to be included in that, I'll let you know asap as soon as we iron out dates and the details.

THEN, I signed up to distribute Lilla Rose as a side business.  Not only am I in love with these hair clips because they are SO pretty, but I LOVE how they work like nothing else in my stick straight hair.  There are tons of sizes so they work on just about any hair type.  So check out that when it launches, as well!


Later on, we'll annouce an event that we are working on.  Christian and I are both pretty musical and have a few friends and family members who are as well.  If you play, sing, have a band etc. and wouldn't mind donating your time and talent, we are working on a music/coffeehouse night as well!  We are most excited about this and how it will be a fun way to bring friends together and help us bring this little boy home!



Most of all, we need your prayers for this little boy, his birthmom, our family, the girls, travel, funding and all the details that need to be worked out before the end of March.
Already, even in the last couple days when we matched, things have been crazy.  Ashlyn was diagnosed with RSV the night before we got our phone call so Christian filled out the agency paperwork while I took her to the doctor right after we heard.  My brother was in a pretty serious motorcycle accident the weekend before and our minds and hearts have been with him since (he is, thankfully, looking like he is going to recover and we are very blessed that he is still with us).  Since last night, my phone has been unable to hold a charge and is, now, completely dead which has made it difficult to inform family, communicate with our consultant and do things with my business or contact friends and doctors for the girls. Working on getting it fixed but this week, of all weeks, has been rife with issues.
We'll keep you posted on how this journey unfolds.  For now, we are excited about this new family member and focusing on the best way to work on the details to get him home.  Oh, and I am, of course, scouring the internet for acceptable baseball themed crib bedding ;-)

Adoption Update: Presenting, Funding and Riding the Rollercoaster

So it's been a little while since we updated on the adoption so I thought I'd go ahead and post just where we are at in all of this.

We finished up our homestudy in mid-October.  So since that time, we've been "active" with our consultant, Faithful Adoption Consultants.  Immediately, she started sending us "situations" from all over the country.  Some were ones where, if our family is chosen by the birthmom, we'd have to travel immediately. Some were due in the months ahead and we'd have time to get to know the person on the other side of this triad before the birth.  We have no idea when it'll all happen. So we live expecting just about anything.  Once, we were out at a show with some friends and I received a text message saying there were 8 week old twins in AZ we'd have to pick up the next day if chosen. . . yeah. Stuff like that. (That birthmother did not return to the agency, we found out, so we assume she chose not to place).  So it's a pretty crazy rollercoaster, considering that each and every "situation" and birthmom is a different story, a different need and each one is full of heartbreak in one way or another.  You want to get emotionally involved but you don't want to since if we did with each and every one, it would be crazy BUT, like, our consultant said after a situation that seemed like it would be a good match for us didn't pan out, "So hard not to get too excited, but you almost have to put all your heart into it!  This process is so dang hard...but totally worth it :)"  

So that's about all we can give you on that.  We aren't sure where. We aren't sure when.  

We are continuing to do some fundraising.  Lawyers, agencies, travel, homestudies, state fees all add up.  In order to adopt we are saving, working to find ways to make extra money through organizations that help adopting families (if you like coffee, keep reading!) and, recently, we found out we got a matching grant! We are planning on coming up with creative ways to help fund the adoption as this continues as we wait and pray for the newest Herman, his/her first family and their situation and our hearts as we receive him/her into our home.

So if you are interested in helping us out with this, here are something we have going right now.  I will post more events and fundraisers as they come up! But here are the biggest.

Hand in Hand Christian Adoptions, Inc Matching Grant

We were recently awarded a matching funds grant to help with the expenses of our adoption through Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc. a non-profit private operating foundation.  Hand in Hand will match any funds that are donated through our friends and family for the expenses of our adoption.  All funds received through our friends and family will be matched dollar for dollar by Hand in Hand up to our awarded grant amount!   AND all donations are tax-deductible (awesome, right?!).

You can find out more about Hand in Hand through their website at www.handinhandadopt.org.

All donations made payable to “Hand in Hand Christian Adoption” postmarked by January 22nd to: (for tax purposes please include our name on the outside of the envelope only…do not put our name on the check itself):                                                                                                                   

Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.  

Christian and Sarah Herman

18318 Mimosa Court 

Gardner, KS  66030

Just Love Coffee Roasters

Here's an easy one if you are buying coffee for yourself or friends anyway.  Check out our online coffee shop for Organic, Fair Trade Coffee.  From people who have ordered already, it ships fast and REALLY yummy stuff :-)  So, if you want to check it out and get coffee here rather than from Starbucks or the grocery store, that'd be great!  They have hot chocolate, too, for the non-coffee drinkers :-) 

Our link can be found here: https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/hermanadoption/

The fundraising part of this is, certainly, the most awkward part of this for us but, because of the huge costs, we really wouldn't be able to consider it if organizations and supportive people didn't come alongside us and help!  If you cannot give, your prayers are SO, SO valuable to us.  Pray for everyone who will be involved in the process, our whole family, the consultant, the agency, the birthparents, the hospital staff. . . just all of it. I keep thinking about how this is all going to happen.   We will keep you updated as it does! 

Daylight Savings: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Every year since Claire was born, I would bemoan the "Time Change" every. single. time.  I would complain on Facebook and to anyone who would listen.  My child would never "sleep in" and would wake up at the exact same time as she did before. . now and hour earlier. Or bedtime and naptime would get all screwed up.  And I'd whine and post several comments about how ridiculous it all was.

This year, I thought about complaining again. I started my snarky status update, only to backtrack a bit.  I erased and started over.  And then gave up.  Because, to be honest, I've made my peace. This year, I decided to see it differently.  So for the first several weeks, the weeks I used to whine about, I get up at the same "time" I got up before. I got dressed. I made breakfast for my family. I'd read my Bible and I'd unload the dishwasher and start school with Claire.  For several days, she was done with her schoolwork around 9am because of this. 9AM!!!   I always wish I could be given more hours in the day to accomplish what I need to get done and, wouldn't ya know?  Every year, until my body and my children adjust to the new time, I get an extra hour in my day.

My mantra for our adoption journey has become, "Find joy in the journey. . ." and we really have.  Amazing friends, great conversations, unexpected blessings. So I decided to apply this mantra to more things.  Sometimes this is not always easy, but Paul admonishes us in 1 Thessalonians to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  So here's my time change joy: a clean house, joyful schooltime and business work done.

It's the little things.

October 2014

Happy Fall! Between finishing up or homestudy and getting our profile book ready to present to birth families, we managed to throw in some October traditions with the girls. One of my FAVORITE things to do with the girls is gut the pumpkins and cook the seeds.  I have pictures of Claire pulling the seeds out of the pumpkin every year since she was 18 months old.  I search Pinterest for the best recipes and cook the seeds and eat them for the next few weeks.  The girls love them. 

17 months

2 years

3 years

4 years

Ashlyn 2 years

Sister love!

This year we used this recipe, which was different than normal years since I tend to do salty rather than sweet/cinnamon but it worked for us!

 Christian always get creative with his pumpkin carving.  This year we got a little bit busy but he was able to carve this for us!

Some doTERRA love this year!

Dance Class Costume Party
Claire's dance class had their little Halloween party.  The girls were ADORABLE.  Here they are learning their dance routine for Christmas. . . in their Halloween costumes.

Claire's dance class

A is for Apple Pie!!
Claire spent a unit on her school work on A and Apples.  To end our unit, we read How to Make and Apple Pie and See the World and, you guessed it, made an Apple Pie.  She had a blast, although, momma did the apple cutting, no worries :-)

Halloween Activities
Thursday, the girls had their Halloween/Costume party at their Mommy and Me preschool in Fullerton. I took this shot before we left.

Then we had a stop at Adam's Chiropractic in Brea.  Can I TELL you hope much we love this place and these people?   The girls got to Trick or Treat, first at the office.  Christian and I go once a week and we are SO BLESSED by them!

After the kids did some crafts, got candy from the Developmentally Disabled Adults who take classes in the same building as well as the office staff next door, they took this class picture (nevermind the annoying parent on the left who photobombed the class picture with her creepy "costume."  O_o)

My mom was able to rearrange her schedule and be there for the class.  The girls LOVED having gramma there!

That night, the girls Trick or Treated around the neighborhood. Christian's parents came over for dinner and it was a great night with family. The girls really got excited about seeing their neighborhood friends and filling their buckets. 

Next year's couple costume?  I'm thinking so. . . :-)

Adoption update. . . the end of the beginning

Well, it's been a while since we actually updated on the state of our adoption process!  Back in the summer, we had a second fundraiser yard sale but this time we had it at Christian's parents'.  This time, things were a little different. We were a little more prepared since we'd done one sale before and we had more large items than little knick knacky type items.  Christian's parents had friends donate to the sale so they were storing some things for us, we still had some things left over from the last sale, PLUS a number of large items we just couldn't transport to my parents' house the first time around.  I have fantastic relatives in Murrieta (where our sale took place) and they came out a few days before, loaded up their truck with items and took a few things.  It was better for us since we didn't have to rent a truck this time and could keep whatever we made from the sale.

Hanging out in the garage during the sale.

We wound up making a prety good chunk of change at the yard sales went toward the Consultant and our homestudy costs.  A group of AMAZING friends online spent tons of time and money on a online auction for us as well. Amazing people in our lives these days.  Watch for a tshirt fundraiser coming soon. We are also hoping to land a matching grant.  More on that soon. . . 

But the biggest news is WE ARE DONE WITH OUR HOMESTUDY!!!!!!!!!!!  All that paperwork, all those appointments and things to fill out, interviews and the home visit are all DONE.  Just waiting on our adoption profile to get finished up and we are ACTIVE with our Consultant.  Praying for our new little one and his/her birth family.  Whoever they all may be. . . 

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break." 

--An ancient Chinese belief

School: Plugging Right Along

So I've gotten a few questions from people about Claire's homeschooling.  Mainly, how it's going and what we are doing. Last year I tried to figure out what the best course of action might be for Claire.  She's smart kid, for sure.  At 3 she knew her letters and sounds so I felt like a preschool curriculum might not be great for her 4th grade year BUT I also knew that I didn't want to push since, in many ways, she really is still a 4 year old.  SO I was told, by numerous homeschoolers to check out the Kindergarten Curriculum put out by My Father World.  I mulled over the decision for a long time and am really glad, so far, we went with this.  It is a SUPER gentle Kindergarten curriculum.  There are worksheets to do but it's definitely not worksheet heavy.  There's a lot of art and coloring and reading stories and going outside.  She loves the Classical Music component, the Cuisinaire rods, the letter activities, the outside activities and I love how she really seems to be absorbing everything.  Our first week we talked about the Sun and the letter S.  We practiced writing it, drawing pictures of things that start with S, learning about the sun and it's light.  The theme was "Jesus is the  Light of the World."

Claire is starting to pick out her own "outfits" in the morning.  99% of the time, we are "doing school" with her wearing some sort of costume she pulls out of her costume trunk. . .

The following unit was the moon and letter L.  She learned about the phases of the moon, wrote the letter M, build a "rocket ship" under the kitchen table and learned that the moon does not have it's own light but reflects the light of the Sun. SO the theme was about how we reflect God's light and "I am the light of the world" because we, like the moon, reflect the light of Jesus.  

Ashlyn likes to get in on the homeschool action. We aren't doing anything formal with her at this point, but she has learned all her letters and likes to point them out when we are out and about town.

We are still attending the Joyful Parenting: Music and Art class at N. OC Continuing Ed.  It's free and two hours every Thursday. We love it. The Thursday class is so well done and gives the girls a chance to be with other kids and me a chance to meet other parents.  Right now the theme is fall so we've done apples and trees and leaves and there is a new letter of the week.  They do circle time, they sing, they dance, free play, eat lunch together and at the end of October they'll be doing a costume parade.  

Walking to "Bear Class" (they always sing a song about a bear at the end of class so the girls call it "Bear Class")

Claire is really starting to meet friends at the group and I love watching is develop with her.  She wants to sit next to certain kids for lunchtime.  Ashlyn is still pretty oblivious but enjoys the other kids and is starting to sit for longer periods in the circle, listening to the story.  Last Spring, I would usually find myself in the hallway of the building with Ashlyn who was overdue for a nap and ready for it all to be over.  Now, she is starting to really "fit in."

"Everything grows and grows. . . babies do. . . animals too. . . everything grows. . . "

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